Downeast Dog News

Ask Bammy an Advice Column for Dogs by a Dog

By Nancy Holmes | Apr 01, 2018

I am a Carolina Dog, a breed that long ago owned Native American people. We were designed by natural selection to be so intelligent and physically superior that we survived without humans. My great-grandfather was caught from the wild. I can offer advice based on the natural instincts and abilities of wild dogs. My human and I have had lots of training classes and other experiences. Some humans call themselves Mom or Dad of their dog, but I call my human, tongue in cheek, Boss. Much as I love her, I admit she has many of the same odd notions as most humans, so I can relate to other dogs with problem humans. If I can’t help, at least I can offer sympathy, and we can have fun talking about our amazing humans. Please send your questions! Bammy, 280 Pond Rd. Newcastle, ME 04553, or email:


Dear Readers,

I have woofs from two friends, and I want to tell you all about both of them, but there isn’t room! My old friend is Eddie the Jack Russell Terrier from New York City. I’ll answer his letter next month (Unless something happens that is even more exciting than Eddie’s new job!) My new friend is Princess El-Hajj. She is a thirteen year old Boston Terrier who lives with her human, Claire, and her two B.T. younger brothers.


Here are parts of Princess’s two letters.

Dear Bammy,

I spent the first six years of my life on the Passamaquoddy Reservation. I am a real Indian dog. On the “res” I moved to new families four times. I lived like a “real dog” in those homes. I ran with the big dogs on the “res” and know how to take care of myself. I didn’t have warm jackets or pretty dresses and shirts like I have now. I ate Old Roy – “Rocks and Sticks” (as Claire calls it) for food. That stuff is yucky.

When I came to live with Claire in 2011, I had not had an easy life. But my name was Princess and that is what I am – royal! I am about thirteen now, but I still command the household. It is Princess’s way or else.

I have to share Claire with my two Boston Terrier brothers, Toby and Chip, in an apartment with a nice back yard. Claire has multiple sclerosis, but she won’t move to “some place easier” because she loves us and won’t give us up. My brothers are not nearly as smart as I am. They used to live in crates in bad places, so they didn’t learn much.

Boston Terriers don’t like snow too much. We don’t like heat or rain either. We are meant to wear clothes. I love clothes. That Corgi who didn’t enjoy raincoats doesn’t understand. Clothes make us even cuter than normal and people notice us. We get extra ear scratches, snuggles, and snacks. That is a total win for the Woofs!

Someone in my past taught me to play “Bounce on the Bed.” Claire discovered I knew this game when I started play-bowing on the bed. I do a play bow, and Claire bounces the mattress. I jump up in the air and bark like crazy. We don’t let the boys play this game ‘cause they don’t know how and just end up fighting.

If you get any real hard questions and need advice, just let me know. With two smart dogs like us, we can do anything.

Your Friend, Princess


Dear Princess,

Wags and licks to Claire for rescuing you and Chip and Toby! You had four different homes! How can people be so heartless? I suppose they were having a hard time themselves, so we shouldn’t growl too loudly. It sounds as if you have a really good home now. Claire did well to figure out what you meant about the bed bouncing game! And she gives you medicine for your injured leg.

I sometimes have a hard time with clothes. My blaze orange vest is okay. It is pretty loose and light, but I don’t like my winter jacket even though it does keep me warm. I think it’s a little too tight.

Thank goodness Claire doesn’t want to give you all up to live somewhere easier! I hope she can find a place where you all can be together or else have someone help her in your apartment.

Good luck and keep in touch!!