Downeast Dog News

Beg No More

By Baxter | Jun 02, 2014

If you’ve been reading my column for any length of time, you know I often return to my favorite subject, food. It’s embarrassing to visit a canine friend and see him begging at his human’s table – without finesse. Imagine a painter who didn’t understand his paints, a musician who failed to tune her instrument, an actor who didn’t know his audience. Alas, that is the sad practice of begging for most dogs. Simply walking up to a table and begging without understanding each individual human at the table is like the poor painter, musician, or hapless actor.

Of course your humans feed you – but do they feed you enough? Never! And what do they feed you? Dog food.  Do they eat dog food? I don’t think so. They eat nothing but treats. I happen to know that for a fact – treats so aromatic and delicious – so mouth wateringly sublime that even the worst human food far outshines the best dog food.

So, how do you make their food your food? First of all, you need to stop thinking of it as begging. Think of it as insuring your food security. Second, study the humans at the table and understand the character of each. Do they like cute? Be cute. Cock your head; do that thing we do with our eyes. Do they favor stealth? Sidle up to them and casually nudge them. Obsequious? Hey, for a morsel of steak I’d do anything, but remember, you’ve got to sell it. If you’re a junkyard dog, you can’t pretend to be a toady. If you’re a Chinese crested, you’re never going to be cute.

Observe, learn, and sell. That’s all there is to kicking up begging from a mundane activity to the tastiest three seconds of your life…over and over and over again.